背景知識
今日は直近の Writing Task 2（Discussion Essay） の弱点を補強する日です。テーマは Technology & Society。連続完全理解数が 0 のため、Discussion Essay の構成力と CC（Coherence & Cohesion） を重点的に鍛えます。
1. Band Descriptor 復習（TR / CC / LR / GRA の4軸）
2. 接続表現の使い分け（6つのカテゴリ）
3. フルエッセイ執筆（Technology & Society テーマで再挑戦）
Band Descriptor（評価軸）復習
| 評価軸 | 内容 | Band 6.0 に必要なこと |
|---|---|---|
| TR | Task Response — 問いへの正確な回答 | 両意見を提示し、自分の立場を明示する |
| CC | Coherence & Cohesion — 論理的流れ | 段落が明確で、接続表現を正確に使う |
| LR | Lexical Resource — 語彙の豊富さ | アカデミック語彙をある程度使え、パラフレーズできる |
| GRA | Grammatical Range & Accuracy | 複雑文と単文を組み合わせ、主な文法が正確 |
• View A だけ詳しく書いて View B が薄い → TR スコア大幅低下
• "However" と "Therefore" の繰り返し → LR / CC スコア低下
• 自分の意見を Conclusion にしか書かない → CC スコア低下
接続表現 分類表（Band 6.0〜7.0 で差がつく）
| 機能 | 使える表現 | 注意点 |
|---|---|---|
| 追加 | Furthermore / Moreover / Additionally / In addition | "In addition" は最も一般的だが繰り返し厳禁 |
| 対比 | On the other hand / Nevertheless / Conversely / That said | "On the contrary" は前文否定に使う（対比ではない） |
| 例示 | For instance / To illustrate / A case in point is | 具体例を出すときのみ使用。多用しない |
| 結果 | Consequently / As a result / Hence / Therefore | "Consequently" は段落の締めに向く |
| 強調 | In particular / Notably / Above all | "In particular" は特定の主語に絞るときに有効 |
| 譲歩 | Nevertheless / Nonetheless / Even so / Despite this | 批判を認めた上で反論するときに使う |
問題
Some people believe that technology has made the world a better place to live. Others argue that technology has created more problems than it has solved.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.Task Type: Discussion Essay（Discuss both views + own opinion）
構成ガイド
Band 5.5 → "In conclusion, technology is good." （根拠なし、両意見の要約なし）
Band 6.0 → "In conclusion, while technology poses challenges such as job displacement, its benefits in healthcare and communication outweigh these concerns."
有用な語彙・表現
| 語彙 | 日本語訳 | 使用例 |
|---|---|---|
| transform | 大きく変える | Technology has transformed how people communicate. |
| exacerbate | 悪化させる | Automation exacerbates income inequality. |
| proponent | 支持者 | Proponents of this view argue that… |
| contend | 主張する（高級） | Critics contend that social media is addictive. |
| outweigh | 上回る | The benefits of technology outweigh the drawbacks. |
| pervasive | 広く浸透した | Technology has become pervasive in everyday life. |
| mitigate | 緩和する | Governments should mitigate the negative effects of automation. |
| unprecedented | 前例のない | The pace of technological change is unprecedented. |
| democratise | 民主化する | The internet has democratised access to information. |
| proliferation | 急増・拡散 | The proliferation of social media has been linked to mental health issues. |
ヒント
View A は「医療・通信・情報アクセス」などを中心に technology improves lives を支持する論点で展開。
View B は「雇用喪失・プライバシー侵害・依存性・格差拡大」などを中心に展開。
View A（技術は良い）の論点候補:
- 医療技術の進歩（ワクチン・ロボット手術 → 生存率向上）
- 情報への平等なアクセス（Khan Academy / Coursera など）
- 距離を超えたコミュニケーション（移民・遠隔地の家族）
View B（技術は問題を生む）の論点候補:
- 自動化による雇用喪失（製造業・物流業への影響）
- SNS とメンタルヘルス問題（青少年の不安・うつ）
- デジタルデバイドの拡大（先進国 vs 途上国）
- 個人情報の搾取・プライバシー侵害
自分の立場候補: "technology is largely beneficial but must be regulated" という balanced + conditional view が Band 6.0 には書きやすい。
[Introduction]
"The rapid development of technology over recent decades has fundamentally changed how people live and work. While many argue that these advances have improved quality of life, others believe that technological progress has created new and serious problems. This essay will explore both perspectives before arguing that technology is broadly beneficial, provided it is properly regulated."
[Body 1 — View A]
"Those who view technology positively point to significant advances in healthcare and communication. Modern medical technology has extended life expectancy and reduced mortality rates from previously fatal diseases. Furthermore, the internet has democratised access to information, enabling people in remote areas to pursue education and economic opportunities that were once out of reach."
[Body 2 — View B]
"On the other hand, critics contend that technology has generated serious social and economic problems. Automation, for example, has displaced millions of workers in manufacturing and service industries, exacerbating unemployment and inequality. Moreover, the rise of social media has been linked to declining mental health, particularly among young people who are exposed to cyberbullying and unrealistic social comparisons."
[Conclusion]
"In conclusion, while technology undeniably poses challenges such as job displacement and social fragmentation, its benefits in healthcare, education, and connectivity are considerable. On balance, I believe technology makes the world a better place, but only if governments and companies take responsibility for managing its risks."
モデル解答（Band 7.5〜8.0 相当）
The rapid development of technology over recent decades has fundamentally changed the way people live, work, and communicate. While many argue that these advances have improved quality of life, others believe that technological progress has generated more problems than it has solved. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before arguing that, on balance, technology is a force for good when properly governed.
Those who view technology positively highlight significant gains in healthcare and access to information. Medical breakthroughs, from vaccines to robotic surgery, have dramatically extended life expectancy and reduced mortality rates from once-fatal diseases. Furthermore, the internet has democratised knowledge, enabling individuals in remote or underprivileged communities to access world-class education through platforms such as Khan Academy or Coursera. These developments suggest that technology has the capacity to reduce global inequality rather than deepen it.
On the other hand, critics contend that technology has exacerbated serious social and economic problems. Automation, for instance, has displaced millions of workers in manufacturing and logistics, with the International Labour Organisation warning that up to 85 million jobs may be lost to artificial intelligence within a decade. Moreover, the proliferation of social media has been linked to rising rates of anxiety and depression among adolescents, who are frequently exposed to cyberbullying and distorted standards of beauty. These concerns indicate that technological progress carries tangible human costs.
On balance, however, I believe the benefits of technology outweigh its drawbacks. The key lies not in rejecting technological innovation but in enacting robust regulation to mitigate its harms. Governments must invest in workforce retraining programmes and enforce stricter data protection laws to ensure that technology serves the public good. In conclusion, technology has made the world a better place, but only when subject to responsible oversight.
モデル解答の解説
両意見を Body 1・2 で均等に（各約 85語）展開。Introduction と Conclusion で一貫した立場（"technology is beneficial when properly governed"）を示している。Band 7.5 相当。
チェックポイント: 自分のエッセイで View A と View B の語数が 60:120 などになっていないか確認する。
使用した接続表現（6種類）:
- Furthermore — 追加（Body 1 内）
- On the other hand — 対比（Body 1 → 2 の転換）
- For instance — 例示（Body 2 内）
- Moreover — 追加（Body 2 内）
- On balance — 結論（Conclusion）
- In conclusion — 締め（Conclusion）
参照語の例: "These developments" / "These concerns" / "its drawbacks" で段落間の論理的流れを維持。
| 語彙 | 日本語訳 | なぜ高スコアか |
|---|---|---|
| democratised knowledge | 知識を民主化した | "spread" より高級なコロケーション |
| mortality rates | 死亡率 | 正確な医療関連表現 |
| proliferation | 急増・拡散 | "spread" の上位語 |
| tangible human costs | 具体的な人的コスト | 抽象問題を具体化する表現 |
| robust regulation | 堅固な規制 | 政策議論の定番コロケーション |
| responsible oversight | 責任ある監視 | governance 文脈で頻出 |
- 関係代名詞節: "…adolescents, who are frequently exposed to cyberbullying…"
- 分詞構文: "…the internet has democratised knowledge, enabling individuals in remote communities to…"
- 倒置・強調構文: "The key lies not in rejecting… but in enacting…"
- 条件節: "…technology makes the world a better place, but only when subject to…"
よくある日本人のミス
| ミス | 原因 | 正しい書き方 |
|---|---|---|
| Technology is very useful and important. | very + 一般的形容詞 | Technology is indispensable to modern life. |
| For example, we can use smartphone. | 冠詞の脱落 | For example, smartphones allow us to… |
| On the other hand, technology has bad effects. | "bad" は非アカデミック語 | technology has detrimental / adverse effects |
| I think technology is good. | think は弱い表現 | I would argue that technology is beneficial |
| In conclusion, as I mentioned above, technology is… | 冗長なつなぎ | In conclusion, while technology poses challenges, … |
| Body 1 が 120語、Body 2 が 60語 | View A/B を均等に扱う意識の欠如 | 両段落を 80〜100語ずつに調整する |
次のステップ
次回予告（月曜）: Reading — "The Future of Remote Work" (Passage + T/F/NG + Matching Headings)
自己評価
エッセイを書いた後に記入してください。データはブラウザのローカルストレージに保存されます。
自分の回答（エッセイ全文）:
気づき・メモ: